Wednesday, January 28

Next Year's Oscars

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Oscar time in Blogland, and everyone's got a post or two about the nominations.

But here's one that I bet is different. See, I'm very much looking forward to seeing (I'm assuming they'll perform) Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara perform "A Kiss At the End of the Rainbow" as Mickey and Mitch.

That got me thinking:

What five artists would you really like to see perform at next year's Oscars?

Here's mine, off the top of my head (artists are real, songs and movie titles, obviously made up):

Rufus Wainwright singing "Babelfish" from the movie "Fountain Lake"

Dwight Yoakam singing "Texas-Size Hole" from the movie "The Appellate"

Liz Phair singing "Guy Homme" from the movie "Augmented" or singing "Augmented" from the movie "Guy Homme"

XTC singing "Beat Up" (from their new album) from the movie "Stone-Dead Churchill"

Tom Waits singing "Hambourg Whore in the Land of Gin and Tonic" from the movie "Uncle Auntie"

I'm sure if I gave it more thought, I'd come up with a better list, but I think the above five performers would make a kick-ass Oscar telecast.

I'd also love to see the movie Stone-Dead Churchill, especially if XTC was involved It'd be the hit smash, hot new movie import from Britain's newly discovered Tarantino. Also, I expect Uncle Auntie would be good. Maybe it's a Robert Altman comedy. Guy Homme must be some sort of period piece, maybe Guy is a french foreign legionairre? Renee Zellwegger would star as the squinting Monsieur Homme. The Appellate sounds like some southern legal drams bullshit starring Cruise and Paltrow. Fountain Lake would be a psychological thriller starring Harrison Ford and Nicole Kidman as husband and wife. Yes, husband and wife.


dave s said...

- grace jones singing "nevah!" from "2 x dead"
(romantic comedy about a bickering husband and wife - renee zellwiger & tom hanks - who die in a plane crash and are given a second chance... but with an expiry date! a baby is born, and so is a new chance at luv.)
- white stripes performing "boondocks" from "lower east side"
(billy bob thornton as a boxer who falls for society dame marcia gay harden, despite her fiance, john c. rielly. what will daddy -al pacino- do?!)
- peaches doing "bunkbed" from "the meat diary"
(story of a stripper -angelina jolie- who, as the flick starts, is discovered dead in an alleyway. a female cop -uma thurman- discovers the stripper's diary, and the story of her life. "you can't handle the truth!!!")
- frank black with "inevitable high five" from "talks to toby"
(phillip seymour hoffman is toby, a man whose love of outer space has stirred him to build his own ufo in order to cause mass panic, hysteria, and a resurgence of ufo-mania. the story is told though a journalist-kathleen turner-who interviews toby from his prison cell.)
- "100 feet tall" by puffy amy yumi from "return of the american giant"
(a post-sept 11 metaphor, about a giant creature from 'somewhere else' who arrives to destroy america. a group of children from a special ed school pool resources to stop it. michelle phiffer is their kicky teacher.)

dave m said...

1. Gillian Welch singing "A Hard Man is Good to Find" from the film "Motherless Child". A coming of age story set in the rural Amercian south during the dirty thirties. Like Chocolat but with music instead of food. Stars Holly Hunter.
2. Talking Heads reunited for "Elastic Life" from the film "Mal's Museum". Directed by Tim Burton, starring Nicolas Cage, as a man who becomes a celebrity after he builds a museum to himself only to have Sean Penn come forward to claim the life celebrated in the museum is actually his own.
3. Kathleen Edwards & Lucinda Williams together singing "The Road Home" from "Catch and Chase" A policier that follows a retired canadian cop and legendary texas ranger as they track a couple of killers from Toronto to El Paso. Stars Nicolas Campbell and Robert Duvall...with Mike Myers and Jim Carrey in dramatic roles as the killers
4. Randy Newman performing "My Brand New Bible" from "Home-Made Man". A big rock retires and tries to live a Walden-like existence. Stars Johhny Depp.
5. Ron Sexsmith singing the title track from: "The Last Romantic" Romantic Comedy set in the world of the future where love is out lawed and the government controls the population through drugs and television. Will Farrell stars as the host of the most popular program in the world who risks everything when he falls in love, against his better judgement, with Samantha Morton, a heart-broken android.

Rob MacD said...

Here you go, Hollywood. Don't ever complain of a lack of ideas again!
I particularly like 'return of the american giant' and 'mal's museum'.