Thursday, April 19

Thank God You're Canceled

It's not canceled yet, but I want to be the first to have written that headline when the show "Thank God You're Here" does get canceled.  Which it will.

I've talked about it before, about how I didn't like the season's second show, which was the first show I'd seen.  I have since watched every episode so far, and I can now say with absolute certainty that I do not find the show enjoyable.  If I watch any more it will only be because I have a weak spot for seeing others perform improv and secretly comparing how I'd imagine I'd perform in their stead.  I always think I'd do better.

The problems I have with the show, now that I've seen it a few times, are the same ones I had before.  The segments that don't include actual improvising are deadly boring.  Anytime David Alan Grier is on the tv screen is wasted time.  Having Dave Foley judge is pointless and tiring and wastes more time.   Now that I've seen a number of improvs, and see that it never veers from the "fill in the blank" type of improv, it's become a pretty tedious entertainment.  The celebrity guests are, for the most part, not very good at improvising.  Of course, they aren't really allowed to improvise because each scene demands that all involved in each scene follow a pre-arranged point-to-point-to-point set of setups designed solely so that the celebrity guest can fill in the blanks.
Improv is at its funniest when the unexpected happens.  This show does not encourage the unexpected to happen because the scenes are too structured.  The only times I found myself even slightly amused were when something unexpected happened and everyone in the scene had to react to it.

I do not like this show.  Not in the least.  I watch it, though, because I hope beyond hope that finally it will get it right.  But I thought the same thing about Sanjaya, and he didn't end well.

So, let me be the first to say it:  "Thank God You're Canceled!"



Thank God You're Canceled

It's not canceled yet, but I want to be the first to have written that headline when the show "Thank God You're Here" does get canceled.  Which it will.

I've talked about it before, about how I didn't like the season's second show, which was the first show I'd seen.  I have since watched every episode so far, and I can now say with absolute certainty that I do not find the show enjoyable.  If I watch any more it will only be because I have a weak spot for seeing others perform improv and secretly comparing how I'd imagine I'd perform in their stead.  I always think I'd do better.

The problems I have with the show, now that I've seen it a few times, are the same ones I had before.  The segments that don't include actual improvising are deadly boring.  Anytime David Alan Grier is on the tv screen is wasted time.  Having Dave Foley judge is pointless and tiring and wastes more time.   Now that I've seen a number of improvs, and see that it never veers from the "fill in the blank" type of improv, it's become a pretty tedious entertainment.  The celebrity guests are, for the most part, not very good at improvising.  Of course, they aren't really allowed to improvise because each scene demands that all involved in each scene follow a pre-arranged point-to-point-to-point set of setups designed solely so that the celebrity guest can fill in the blanks.
Improv is at its funniest when the unexpected happens.  This show does not encourage the unexpected to happen because the scenes are too structured.  The only times I found myself even slightly amused were when something unexpected happened and everyone in the scene had to react to it.

I do not like this show.  Not in the least.  I watch it, though, because I hope beyond hope that finally it will get it right.  But I thought the same thing about Sanjaya, and he didn't end well.

So, let me be the first to say it:  "Thank God You're Canceled!"



Friday, April 13

Boney M

Don't know about the rest of you guys, but I've been creating sperm from boners since I was a teenager.
clipped from www.cbc.ca

Early-stage sperm cells created from bone marrow: study

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Boney M

Don't know about the rest of you guys, but I've been creating sperm from boners since I was a teenager.
clipped from www.cbc.ca

Early-stage sperm cells created from bone marrow: study

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I Defy You Not To Laugh

Check out this "caught on video" clip of Woody Harrelson pleasuring himself:

Woody's Best Work




I Defy You Not To Laugh

Check out this "caught on video" clip of Woody Harrelson pleasuring himself:

Woody's Best Work




Mother's Milk - In The Flesh

Dave Moses produced a short film called "Mother's Milk", where he and I played enterprising brothers in law who set up a human milk factory. Our enterprise failed.
Apparently, though, a real life version is finding success
clipped from www.azcentral.com

Anna Corral started selling her breast milk because she needed the extra cash. Since she produces twice the milk her baby needs, Corral says her freezer is filled with sterile bags of it.
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Mother's Milk - In The Flesh

Dave Moses produced a short film called "Mother's Milk", where he and I played enterprising brothers in law who set up a human milk factory. Our enterprise failed.
Apparently, though, a real life version is finding success
clipped from www.azcentral.com

Anna Corral started selling her breast milk because she needed the extra cash. Since she produces twice the milk her baby needs, Corral says her freezer is filled with sterile bags of it.
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Wednesday, April 11

American Idol - The Final 8 - A Review

I'm not going to bother with much of a review, because, really, who cares?

Melinda - Too old looking.  Sings with professionalism, but lacked heart last night.  Safe, though.
LaKisha - Didn't think it was a good song for her.  Also, she's got to stop giving that "Oh no you di-int!" look of anger when she sings.  It's worked for a few songs now, but not with Conga.  She'll be safe, though.
Chris - I thought he was awful.  The judges didn't.  Likely safe.
Haley - I thought she was awful. So did the judges.  Not safe.
Phil - I always think he's awful.  Don't like him.  Not quite safe.
Jordin - Not as good as she's been in weeks past.  Good enough to be safe, though.
Blake - The best of the night.  But still, not really all that great.
Sanjaya - Everyone's talking about how good he did, but really, he wasn't all that great.  His lower register notes were way off and weak.  It was his best performance, but have you seen his other performances? He'll be safe.  He'd be safe even if he sang terribly, though.  Stupid fans.

Most everyone didn't "get" the Latin thing.  They all sang pretty white.

J-Lo was fairly innocuous as a guest.

Haley will be going.  Don't know who the other "bottom three" will be.  I'll say Phil and Chris.



American Idol - The Final 8 - A Review

I'm not going to bother with much of a review, because, really, who cares?

Melinda - Too old looking.  Sings with professionalism, but lacked heart last night.  Safe, though.
LaKisha - Didn't think it was a good song for her.  Also, she's got to stop giving that "Oh no you di-int!" look of anger when she sings.  It's worked for a few songs now, but not with Conga.  She'll be safe, though.
Chris - I thought he was awful.  The judges didn't.  Likely safe.
Haley - I thought she was awful. So did the judges.  Not safe.
Phil - I always think he's awful.  Don't like him.  Not quite safe.
Jordin - Not as good as she's been in weeks past.  Good enough to be safe, though.
Blake - The best of the night.  But still, not really all that great.
Sanjaya - Everyone's talking about how good he did, but really, he wasn't all that great.  His lower register notes were way off and weak.  It was his best performance, but have you seen his other performances? He'll be safe.  He'd be safe even if he sang terribly, though.  Stupid fans.

Most everyone didn't "get" the Latin thing.  They all sang pretty white.

J-Lo was fairly innocuous as a guest.

Haley will be going.  Don't know who the other "bottom three" will be.  I'll say Phil and Chris.



Tuesday, April 10

Grindhouse - A Review (not my review)

This is a link to a review that perfectly reflects my thoughts on Grindhouse.
I couldn't speak it any better than this, how much I enjoyed the experience of seeing Grindhouse (every minute of it) in the theatre.

Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule review of Grindhouse



Grindhouse - A Review (not my review)

This is a link to a review that perfectly reflects my thoughts on Grindhouse.
I couldn't speak it any better than this, how much I enjoyed the experience of seeing Grindhouse (every minute of it) in the theatre.

Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule review of Grindhouse



Thank God You're Here - A Review

Here's a quick review of the episode of Thank God You're Here that I watched last night.

Thank God You're Here is a show featuring improvisation.  I didn't like what I saw.  Quickly, here's how it works.  Four celebrity contestants perform, one at a time, in a scene.  They walk through a door and someone in the scene says "Thank God you're here!", then the scene continues with the celebrity trying to improvise their way through the scene.  Other actors in the scene are in the know about what the scene is about and act accordingly.
While the concept and format sounds good, the delivery of it mostly fails.  Why?  Mostly because only one person (the celebrity) is truly doing improv, while everyone else in the scene is obviously following pre-arranged lines and motivations.  Trouble is, they often ignore the celebrity's improv for the sake of the pre-arranged details.

For instance, some woman named Monique (I've never heard of her) was the celebrity in a scene where she was a co-host in a game show.  The "in on it" co-host actor asked her to tell us who the game show contestants were (a perfectly fine way to force a player to make things up on the spot).  She'd say something like "contestant one is Linda from Iowa", only to be rebuffed by the co-host who'd say "No, that's actually Rachel from Detroit".  Anyone who knows the basics of improv know that what he did was an improv no-no.  If Monique says contestant one is Linda from Iowa, then it's up to the rest of the players to go along with that.  But they didn't.  They thought (I guess) it was funnier to tell Monique she was wrong.  I could understand them doing it if the name Rachel and her being from Detroit was important to the scene that followed, but it didn't matter at all.  There were examples of this all through the various scenes.  It causes the scenes to be forced, rather than flow naturally from the improvised lines, and when the scenes are forced to go in a specific direction, they are hardly ever entertaining.
In other words, the "in on it" improvisers need to be allowed to improvise rather than be forced to follow the pre-arranged details.  I suppose they are pre-detailed so that if the celebrity is particularly bad, then there's something of a safety net there for everyone.  Trouble is, improv shouldn't have safety nets.

Here were the celebrities from the episode I watched:  Monique (or maybe Mo'nique), Kevin Nealon, Richard Kind and Edie McClurg.  So, not really the cream of the celebrity crop there.  Of the four, Kevin Nealon was the best, and offered hope as to what the show could possibly become.  In his scene, maybe because he seemed very sure of himself, the other actors seemed more willing to follow him rather than force him in the direction they were instructed to take him.  Still, I thought the scene failed mostly because they insisted on ignoring his offers in favour of the scripted direction they had to take the scene.  Edie McClurg's scene was okay, too, but again was derailed because they insisted on making the scene something they conceived earlier, rather than let it go in the directions that McClurg was taking it.  Richard Kind failed pretty much, I thought.  There was a short period of entertainment value as he floated kind of helplessly outside his element, but that grew tiresome quickly.  Mo'Nique (who "won" last night) was the poorest at improv, I thought, but did have a couple of good toss-off funny lines.

David Alan Grier is the host, and he's awful, if you ask me.  He seems very unsure of himself, and I never found him to be that funny anyway.  Again, the word "forced" comes to mind.

Dave Foley is the judge, and his role seems to be to offer feint praise to the celebrity after each scene, and then at the end of the hour announce one of them the winner.  it's all very arbitrary and unnecessary, the judging, and needlessly slows the show down.

If this show was to continue, my advice would be this:
Don't force the scenes to go in the pre-arranged directions.  Allow your improv actors the chance to play with the celebrity to take the scene in unexpected directions.
Get rid of the judging (and the host), unless you make it actually worth something:  How about instead of an arbitrary winner each week, the person who wins the week gets to come back for the next round, so that the season progresses towards the finale episode which would have the four best celebrities from the previous heats compete for the title.  Even if it was obviously fixed and fake and arbitrary, at least there'd be a little bit of a stake and value in winning.

I'll probably keep watching, hoping that the show finds its groove.  But as it stands now, it's pretty much a clunker.  I'd expect to laugh at least a couple of big laughs during the hour, but honestly there was hardly a chuckle coming from me or my wife last night as we watched.

As I watched, and being the fan of performing improv that I am, I immediately thought "hmm, I wonder if something like that would work here on the Island?"



Thank God You're Here - A Review

Here's a quick review of the episode of Thank God You're Here that I watched last night.

Thank God You're Here is a show featuring improvisation.  I didn't like what I saw.  Quickly, here's how it works.  Four celebrity contestants perform, one at a time, in a scene.  They walk through a door and someone in the scene says "Thank God you're here!", then the scene continues with the celebrity trying to improvise their way through the scene.  Other actors in the scene are in the know about what the scene is about and act accordingly.
While the concept and format sounds good, the delivery of it mostly fails.  Why?  Mostly because only one person (the celebrity) is truly doing improv, while everyone else in the scene is obviously following pre-arranged lines and motivations.  Trouble is, they often ignore the celebrity's improv for the sake of the pre-arranged details.

For instance, some woman named Monique (I've never heard of her) was the celebrity in a scene where she was a co-host in a game show.  The "in on it" co-host actor asked her to tell us who the game show contestants were (a perfectly fine way to force a player to make things up on the spot).  She'd say something like "contestant one is Linda from Iowa", only to be rebuffed by the co-host who'd say "No, that's actually Rachel from Detroit".  Anyone who knows the basics of improv know that what he did was an improv no-no.  If Monique says contestant one is Linda from Iowa, then it's up to the rest of the players to go along with that.  But they didn't.  They thought (I guess) it was funnier to tell Monique she was wrong.  I could understand them doing it if the name Rachel and her being from Detroit was important to the scene that followed, but it didn't matter at all.  There were examples of this all through the various scenes.  It causes the scenes to be forced, rather than flow naturally from the improvised lines, and when the scenes are forced to go in a specific direction, they are hardly ever entertaining.
In other words, the "in on it" improvisers need to be allowed to improvise rather than be forced to follow the pre-arranged details.  I suppose they are pre-detailed so that if the celebrity is particularly bad, then there's something of a safety net there for everyone.  Trouble is, improv shouldn't have safety nets.

Here were the celebrities from the episode I watched:  Monique (or maybe Mo'nique), Kevin Nealon, Richard Kind and Edie McClurg.  So, not really the cream of the celebrity crop there.  Of the four, Kevin Nealon was the best, and offered hope as to what the show could possibly become.  In his scene, maybe because he seemed very sure of himself, the other actors seemed more willing to follow him rather than force him in the direction they were instructed to take him.  Still, I thought the scene failed mostly because they insisted on ignoring his offers in favour of the scripted direction they had to take the scene.  Edie McClurg's scene was okay, too, but again was derailed because they insisted on making the scene something they conceived earlier, rather than let it go in the directions that McClurg was taking it.  Richard Kind failed pretty much, I thought.  There was a short period of entertainment value as he floated kind of helplessly outside his element, but that grew tiresome quickly.  Mo'Nique (who "won" last night) was the poorest at improv, I thought, but did have a couple of good toss-off funny lines.

David Alan Grier is the host, and he's awful, if you ask me.  He seems very unsure of himself, and I never found him to be that funny anyway.  Again, the word "forced" comes to mind.

Dave Foley is the judge, and his role seems to be to offer feint praise to the celebrity after each scene, and then at the end of the hour announce one of them the winner.  it's all very arbitrary and unnecessary, the judging, and needlessly slows the show down.

If this show was to continue, my advice would be this:
Don't force the scenes to go in the pre-arranged directions.  Allow your improv actors the chance to play with the celebrity to take the scene in unexpected directions.
Get rid of the judging (and the host), unless you make it actually worth something:  How about instead of an arbitrary winner each week, the person who wins the week gets to come back for the next round, so that the season progresses towards the finale episode which would have the four best celebrities from the previous heats compete for the title.  Even if it was obviously fixed and fake and arbitrary, at least there'd be a little bit of a stake and value in winning.

I'll probably keep watching, hoping that the show finds its groove.  But as it stands now, it's pretty much a clunker.  I'd expect to laugh at least a couple of big laughs during the hour, but honestly there was hardly a chuckle coming from me or my wife last night as we watched.

As I watched, and being the fan of performing improv that I am, I immediately thought "hmm, I wonder if something like that would work here on the Island?"



Wednesday, April 4

The Innaugural "Ask Rob A Question" Post

Here's your chance, web, to ask me any question(s) you want.  I'll answer as best I can, or at least give a valid reason why I won't answer.  Please note, valid reasons may not be valid.

So, ask away, if anyone's reading.  Or don't.  Questions don't necessarily have to be about me, or about things I might know.  Whatever the question, I'll do my damnedest to answer it.

And...

Go!!



The Innaugural "Ask Rob A Question" Post

Here's your chance, web, to ask me any question(s) you want.  I'll answer as best I can, or at least give a valid reason why I won't answer.  Please note, valid reasons may not be valid.

So, ask away, if anyone's reading.  Or don't.  Questions don't necessarily have to be about me, or about things I might know.  Whatever the question, I'll do my damnedest to answer it.

And...

Go!!



American Idol - The Top 9 - Review

Here's how I saw and heard last night's American Idol:

Blake:  A good performance, but he seems to miss the drama of the lyrics and makes it more bubbly than it should be.  Also, too much aimless walking around the stage and too much trying to look cool.  I find that sometimes gets in the way of his vocal performance.

Phil:  As he was singing this, I was thinking the word "empty".  His performance was empty of emotion and feeling.  Simon's "all the joy of someone singing in a funeral parlour" is apt.  I just don't like Phil.  I really like Tony Bennett, but one of the things I wonder about him is his sincerity.  How sincere is he in all the positive things he says to/about other performers.  So, when he says Phil is one of the better singers he's heard recently, I have to wonder:  Is Tony Bennett full of shit?  Sometimes he is, obviously.

Melinda:  a knockout performance.  Impeccably sung.  However, as she was singing, I was wondering if/when she wins the competition, who will she be marketed to?  She may be young-ish, but she gives off a middle-aged vibe.  Who is her demographic?

Chris:  A good performance, but uninspiring. 

Jordin:  This week and last, Jordin sang well, but her nerves seem to be getting in the way of her nailing her performances.  Pretty strong, otherwise.

Gina:  A well-performed but ultimately forgettable performance.  Horrible makeup.

Sanjaya:  See, now I can buy Tony saying he thinks Sanjaya is "terrific" much more than I can him saying Phil is one of the better singers he's heard.  Terrific does not necessarily have to relate to his singing abilities, or even anything relating to performing at all.  That's the kind of Tony Bennett compliment I can buy.  Angina was so bland, many notes were off and most were weak.  Unfortunately, AI has chosen to embrace the oddity of Angina and promote him as the wacky entertainer.  He'll stick around for a while yet.

Haley:  Haley looked much better than she sang last night.  And last night, she looked whorish.  Mid-to-top-dollar whorish, but still, whorish.  She's the only "beautiful" female left in the competition, so that might save her tonight, but I doubt it.

LaKisha: Another good performance, but all of her performances are starting to sound alike.  She needs to take the risk to sing outside her comfort zone, otherwise people will get bored with her, even though her singing is very good.

As always, assuming Sanjaya's actual talent does not factor into the proceedings (otherwise, he'd be gone):
Bottom Three:  Phil, Gina, Haley

Leaving:  Haley (or Phil).  I hope Phil leaves because I really don't like him.


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American Idol - The Top 9 - Review

Here's how I saw and heard last night's American Idol:

Blake:  A good performance, but he seems to miss the drama of the lyrics and makes it more bubbly than it should be.  Also, too much aimless walking around the stage and too much trying to look cool.  I find that sometimes gets in the way of his vocal performance.

Phil:  As he was singing this, I was thinking the word "empty".  His performance was empty of emotion and feeling.  Simon's "all the joy of someone singing in a funeral parlour" is apt.  I just don't like Phil.  I really like Tony Bennett, but one of the things I wonder about him is his sincerity.  How sincere is he in all the positive things he says to/about other performers.  So, when he says Phil is one of the better singers he's heard recently, I have to wonder:  Is Tony Bennett full of shit?  Sometimes he is, obviously.

Melinda:  a knockout performance.  Impeccably sung.  However, as she was singing, I was wondering if/when she wins the competition, who will she be marketed to?  She may be young-ish, but she gives off a middle-aged vibe.  Who is her demographic?

Chris:  A good performance, but uninspiring. 

Jordin:  This week and last, Jordin sang well, but her nerves seem to be getting in the way of her nailing her performances.  Pretty strong, otherwise.

Gina:  A well-performed but ultimately forgettable performance.  Horrible makeup.

Sanjaya:  See, now I can buy Tony saying he thinks Sanjaya is "terrific" much more than I can him saying Phil is one of the better singers he's heard.  Terrific does not necessarily have to relate to his singing abilities, or even anything relating to performing at all.  That's the kind of Tony Bennett compliment I can buy.  Angina was so bland, many notes were off and most were weak.  Unfortunately, AI has chosen to embrace the oddity of Angina and promote him as the wacky entertainer.  He'll stick around for a while yet.

Haley:  Haley looked much better than she sang last night.  And last night, she looked whorish.  Mid-to-top-dollar whorish, but still, whorish.  She's the only "beautiful" female left in the competition, so that might save her tonight, but I doubt it.

LaKisha: Another good performance, but all of her performances are starting to sound alike.  She needs to take the risk to sing outside her comfort zone, otherwise people will get bored with her, even though her singing is very good.

As always, assuming Sanjaya's actual talent does not factor into the proceedings (otherwise, he'd be gone):
Bottom Three:  Phil, Gina, Haley

Leaving:  Haley (or Phil).  I hope Phil leaves because I really don't like him.


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Monday, April 2

Telling The Truth Can Be Dangerous Business

Not if, but when Ishtar gets released on DVD (when that will be, I don't know), those of us who love the movie will be vindicated as people see it for the comedic romp it is, and not the totally-panned flop it is seen as. To those who dismissed the movie due to its outrageous budget, for shame!
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I've witnessed countless people make the sour face when I bring up both films only to learn they have usually never even seen Ishtar or simply discount Bulworth as a silly mistake. How wrong they are. Some don't even know the oftentimes genius Elaine May (who directed and co-starred in the sublime A New Leaf with Walter Matthau and directed both Mikey and Nicky and The Heartbreak Kid) directed Ishtar. But due to the press attacking the over-budget supposed turkey; it was maligned beyond the level of Gigli. The "Heaven's Gate" of comedy.

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Telling The Truth Can Be Dangerous Business

Not if, but when Ishtar gets released on DVD (when that will be, I don't know), those of us who love the movie will be vindicated as people see it for the comedic romp it is, and not the totally-panned flop it is seen as. To those who dismissed the movie due to its outrageous budget, for shame!
Image hosting by Photobucket

I've witnessed countless people make the sour face when I bring up both films only to learn they have usually never even seen Ishtar or simply discount Bulworth as a silly mistake. How wrong they are. Some don't even know the oftentimes genius Elaine May (who directed and co-starred in the sublime A New Leaf with Walter Matthau and directed both Mikey and Nicky and The Heartbreak Kid) directed Ishtar. But due to the press attacking the over-budget supposed turkey; it was maligned beyond the level of Gigli. The "Heaven's Gate" of comedy.

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