The Perfect Formula

I am so confident that I have tweaked my system to perfection, that I am guaranteeing 10 of 14 correct.

Here are this week's picks (winner in all caps):

CINCINATTI at Pittsburgh - This is one of those close picks where I pick opposite to whom I think will win. The Bengals will surprise... wait, does that mean I think the Bengals will win? Should I really pick the Steelers? One pick in, and I'm already confused. Remember the guarantee, Rob. Remember the guarantee. Yes, I think Pittsburgh will win, so I pick Cincinatti.

INDIANAPOLIS at Jacksonvilee - see using last week's plan (picking only the opposite to what I thought) I'd have to go with the Jags on this one. But this time I'm using a distilled version of last week's plan, combined with my good old absolute certainty. I am certain the Colts (they'll be this year's SB champs) will win.

NEW ENGLAND at Buffalo - Oh how I'd love the Bills to win. But they won't. Pats win (damn them to hell).

New York Giants at GREEN BAY - Green Bay will win. Giants have already peaked for the season.

Oakland at HOUSTON - This is one of those inverse picks. Too close to call, so I go against the team I think will win. See, it's simplicity itself, my plan.

PHILADELPHIA at Chicago - Another no-brainer. But watch for the upset, Rob. Nope, not this week. Eagles win.

Washington at CLEVELAND - I'm confused again. I expect the Redskins to win, so I pick the Browns. However, I will not be surprised by a Cleveland upset, which means perhaps I should pick against that eventuality... No, I pick Browns to win. See? Simplicity itself.

Atlanta at CAROLINA - I don't care at all about this game. I'm not even gonna try and figure out my plan on this game. I'm just going with the home team. Whatever. Is anybody reading anyway?

New Orleans at ARIZONA - This is the pick that propels me into double-digit correctness this week.

Denver at TAMPA BAY - Denver wins, so I pick Tampa Bay.

NEW YORK at Miami - I always pick Miami, right, but with the Opposite Day pick I should pick the Jets. But if I really pick the Jets to win, then I'd be picking the Dolphins. See? This week, I actually think Miami is going to pull an upset and win. So, I go with the Jets.

Tennessee at SAN DIEGO - Do you think I'm picking the Chargers because I think they're a shoe-in to win, or because I think the Titans will really win and it's an opposite pick. If you follow football, you know the answer to that, don't you.

St. Louis at SAN FRANSISCO - For a second, I convinced myself that the Rams were sure to win this game so I was ready to pick them. But then I realised that the Rams will never be sure to win a game this year. Even over the pathetic 49ers. So, since I think the Rams will likely win, I gotta go San Fran.

Kansas City at BALTIMORE - I fully expect KC to come out of their slump this game and win it. But not enough to waste my pick on them. KC wins, but I pick the Ravens to win.

There, a guaranteed double-digit correct pick this week. Guaranteed.