Friday, September 17

A Second Week of Self-Flagellation

Despite a first week score of 7-9 (a .438 percentage), and the vow to never pick again, I feel compelled to attempt to vindicate myself. Therefore, here are my NFL picks for week two. WINNER in all caps.

St. Louis at ATLANTA - Both teams are now undefeated. The one thing I can guarantee is that neither will be undefeated for long. In fact, the once-might Rams will only have a few more hours to enjoy their perfects-so-far season. The Falcons will have about 7 more days before the '72 Dolphins can stop worrying about Atlanta threatening their Perfect Season.

WASHINGTON at N.Y. Giants - It's still early, but I may have to re-evaluate my stance on the Redskins' potential this year. Perhaps Portis was their missing ingredient. While I still expect them to fall apart before season's end, they'll take it to the Giants this weekend.

SAN FRANCISCO at New Orleans - Here's the question regarding this game. This week, was Hurricane Ivan more a distraction to the Saints than not having a quarterback was to the 49'ers. I'm saying San Fran wins only because the Saints were more concerned with the blowing Ivan this week than they were the sucking 49'ers.

Carolina at KANSAS CITY - Are people expecting the Panthers to do good this year? I think people are thinking that. I don't know 'bout that, but I do know it's tough to win in KC. The Chiefs should have won last week. They'll do so this week.

DENVER at Jacksonville - I don't know why, but I find it hard to bet on the Jags to win. I'm not a big fan of Denver, but I suspect they'll do okay.

Chicago at GREEN BAY - I am so confident that the Packers will beat the Bears that I fully expect the Bears to prevail. Not really, but maybe. Still, I'm picking Packers.

HOUSTON at Detroit - I am giving the Texans one more week - this one - before I bail on them as the surprise team of the season. If they don't beat the Lions, they simply don't deserve that recognition.

INDIANAPOLIS at Tennessee - I'm still thinking the Colts will be in the SuperBowl this year (yes, I expect the Patriots to finally fail. Damn I hate their skillful flukiness.), and they should handle the Titans this weekend. In fact, I really wouldn't want to be the Titans this weekend. I expect big numbers from the Colts offense.

PITTSBURGH at Baltimore - How many losses will the Ravens get before people stop calling them a SuperBowl contending team. After this weekend, they'll be 0-2. Will that be enough for people to start jumping off the bandwagon. Yep, it will.

SEATTLE at Tampa Bay - The "we scored!" pirate cannon won't be going off very often for the Buccaneers this weekend. Seattle should win this one.

NEW ENGLAND at Arizona - The only time I want to capitalize the Patriots name is when I write I HATE THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS. Still, only a fool (or someone who performs worse than .438 in the first week) would bet against that Pats in this game. (watch out for the Cardinals victory!)

Cleveland at DALLAS - They lost last week, but I still think they're gonna be a contending team this year. Cowboys over Browns at home. Sounds good to me.

NY JETS at San Diego - I was so close to going the other way on this one. Mostly, though, because I 'want' the Jets to fail more than I 'expect' them too. The Chargers surprised me last week. Maybe their decade of funk is coming to an end. I'll be so happy to be wrong about this pick.

BUFFALO at Oakland - I'm a sucker when it comes to the Raiders. I so want them to lose that I'll even pick against them in games where I really think they'll win, like this one. Okay, the Bills may win, but not likely. Still, I'm picking Bills because the football gods may read this blog and my pick may end up being a factor in the outcome.

MIAMI at Cincinatti - Straight up, I'll tell you that I pick the Dolphins when I shouldn't because they're my team (and because of that football gods thing from above). Still, if there's any hope to having a respectable season, they're gonna have to win a game like this one. I honestly expect the Dolphins to win this weekend.

Minnesota at PHILADELPHIA - When games like this are imagined, people expect a high-scoring, fun and wild game. The result is usually a low-scoring sombre affair. Not this time. Both teams are gonna light it up this week, and this'll be the game of the week. Eagles win because of home field advantage.

My goal for this weekend it to get my average above .500. Note, above .500, not at .500. Therefore I need to go 10-6 in my picks to get me to 17-15 for the season.

Piece of cake.

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