And The Nominees Are...

So, this’ll be my longest post so far, maybe ever. I’ve looked through the list of all 254 films eligible for nomination for Best Picture of 2003 Academy Awards and picked out some I think might receive some form of recognition. This list is alphabetical.

AMERICAN SPLENDOR – I didn’t see this movie. Yet based on other’s opinions, I think it has a chance at a Best Picture Nomination. However, in lieu of that, Paul Giamatti will get a nom for Best Actor instead.

BAD SANTA – Won’t get close to a Best Picture nomination. Billy Bob may have a small chance at a Best Actor nom. There’s an even slighter chance for a Supporting Actor.

BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM – This movie was so long ago, I think people will have forgotten about it. If it had come out later in the year, there might be a ‘Greek Wedding’ surge to nominate it, but it ain’t gonna happen. Good movie, though.

BIG FISH – didn’t see it. Too many unsatisfied reviews to get it a Best Picture nod, but I think it’s within the realm of possibility for a Best Director choice. Won’t happen, though.

CITY OF GOD – Didn’t see it. Another movie that’s been out too long and lost the buzz? May still get on the Best Picture list. Will it win Best Foreign? Yes.

COLD MOUNTAIN – Didn’t see it. Don’t really want to. Will probably get some nominations: Best Picture, Actress.

THE COOLER – I think this might be a long shot for a nomination or two. Maybe a supporting actor for Alec Baldwin. I doubt it though.

ELEPHANT – Made it up high in some ‘best of’ lists. I don’t think it’s the Academy’s cup of tea, though. Wouldn’t surprise me to see it nominated for Best Picture. Won’t win though.

FINDING NEMO – If there was no ‘Best Animated’ category, this might make it into Best Picture. It’ll be in, and win ‘Best Animated’.

IN AMERICA – Didn’t see it, kinda scared/tired of the poor irish experience. But pretty much all accounts rave about how moving it is. Should get a Best Picture nom, and maybe a Supporting Actress for one of the kids.

INTOLERABLE CRUELTY – I liked this movie quite a bit, yet don’t think it’ll make it into many Oscar categories, if any. But you should never underestimate the fans that the Cohen brothers have in Hollywood. A longshot for winning anything, slightly less so for being nominated.

KILL BILL – VOL.1 – I wonder if this’ll get any nominations. I doubt it. Afterall, it’s a movie, not a film.

THE LAST SAMURAI – Didn’t see it. Will likely get a Best Picture, Best Actor nomination.

LAUREL CANYON – Maybe a Best Actress for Frances McDormand. Didn’t see it.

TLOTR: TROTK – Should get a Best Director, Best Picture nomination. Plus will win pretty much all of the technical awards. No acting nominations.

LOST IN TRANSLATION – Will be up for Best Picture, Best Actor. Maybe Best Director, not likely Best Actress.

LOVE ACTUALLY – Might get up there on a nomination or two. Maybe a supporting Actor or Actress. Nothing more.

MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD – I’m guessing a Best Picture nomination, a Best Actor nomination, maybe Best Director, plus some technical nods.

MONSTER – It might get a Best Picture nod. It will get the nomination, and win the Best Actress award.

MYSTIC RIVER – Likely best Director, Best Picture, Best Actor nominations.

OWNING MAHOWNY – Likely too small and too far in the past to be remembered, but I’m guessing Philip Seymour Hoffman will get nominated for Best Actor.

SEABISCUIT – Likely nominated for Best Cinematography, maybe Best Picture, but it was such a long time ago this year.

THE STATION AGENT – A long shot for anything, but might slip through to grab a nomination in something.

THE TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE – Will get nominated for Best Animated Film, but will be hard-pressed to beat Finding Nemo.

And, to put it all on the line, here is my pre-announcement guess for what will get nominated for Best Picture. This is not necessarily what I think should be nominated, but what likely will get nominated:

Best Picture: The nominees are:

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

Mystic River

Lost In Translation

In America

My Son, Bat Boy

A few days ago, at the supermarket checkout (or 'cheque-oat' for our Candian friends) I saw the front cover of the Weekly World News. It featured a picture of BatBoy. I forget the exact reason BatBoy was featured, but I would assume that he was being accused of being involved in or responsible for some current-day story.

Anyway, this got me to thinking that perhaps there was a way for me to gain, financially, from the ever-expanding BatBoy phenomenon. See, I have a 10 year old son who likes to put on shows, to act. I'm quite confident that the folks who do Extreme Makeovers would be able to reconfigure his features so that he closely resembles BatBoy.

Teach him how to make up gibberish and we'd travel North America and beyond, looking for stories and events at which BatBoy (the real, with honest to God photographic proof, BatBoy) could appear. Or, maybe, you got an event that you want after-the-fact publicity for? Just give me a call and we can ensure that the freak of nature BatBoy shows up and, depending on your wishes, causes havoc or hands out awards. Either way, it's publicity, guaranteed.

Anyone know the phone number for Extreme Makeovers?

Once, Twice, Three Times A Lady

Checking out people who've linked to this site, and this one tells us to look around because 'she is funny'. Meaning me. I remember Matt telling me one time that someone else (I forget who) thought that I was female, based on reading these posts.

What is it about this site, or my writing, that would make people believe this?

Bonjour, Madame!!!!!!

Tonight on Great Performances, they feature French impressionist Edgar Degas. From what I understand, he does a great young Jerry Lewis.

You Are Ugly, and We'll Prove It

I just read in the TV Guide about a new, upcoming program, on Fox, I believe. I don't know the title, but the concept is this:

People gather to receive extreme makeovers. Then, shortly after they're healed, they compete in a beauty pageant against each other.

I don't know what the winner receives, but the losers most likely receive a lifetime of therapy.

I'll be passing on this one.

Summer Comedy, now with Added Humour

The room is booked and the scripts are being written, so I feel safe enough to make this announcement:

There will be comedy in Charlottetown this summer. Thursday and Friday nights at the ARTS Guild throughout July and August.

I'm part of a newly formed group, tentatively calling ourselves The Cable 10 Players (I'm guessing the name'll change) and we'll be presenting sketch comedy of both the theatrical and videological variety. Because it's still being written, we don't yet have a name for it.

Stay tuned for updates as they become warranted.

Exp-hair-iment: I'm A Pretty Pony

Because I know some of you probably haven't been sleeping well since I announced that gel would no longer be a required addition to my daily hair routine, I thought I'd update you all on what's been happening, follically speaking.

My hair has been growing well, thanks. In fact, it's longer now than it's been since I was, perhaps, 14 years old (although, to be accurate, my hair doesn't seem to get long. Just thick). After much consideration as to what style I'd implement (now that no-gel makes the 'parted on the side' look of the past 20 years impossible), I decided I'd go with "no style". That is to say, wash, towel dry and voila: what's left is my style. Of course, because the hair is so fine, no-style is the only style that would hold anyway, so really, it was no decision.

And how's it going? I'd say it 'works' about 58 percent of the time. About 6 out of ten glances in a mirror leave me feeling adequately satisfied as to how it looks. Maybe 2 glances of 10 leave me thinking "ugh I must change this". Yet, because I am now talking about glancing in the mirror, I fear that I am falling into a "I'm a pretty pony" syndrome and because of that, I fear that I'm losing my mind. Losing my mind under a huge unstyled head of blond hair.

Worry for me, people. While I'm mostly coping well enough with the new feel of hair on my head, and on my forehead, I do have moments where I wonder how much gel is left in the bathroom. I have moments where I hear me thinking "a buzz cut would look good, and be just as easy...no, easier, to take care of". Today, I told my wife and a co-worker that I was going to get my hair cut, and I intended to. At the last moment, though, I changed my mind, sucked up the courage to stick it out with this no-style hair for just one more day.

Tomorrow, I hope that I'll convince myself of the same again.

Just one more day.

Rukavina Linked to Burka Investigation

Peter Rukavina may hold a vital link to the recent investigation into the truth behind what authorities are calling the Formosa Tea House Renovations.

Lost In Translation, Lost on him

I just watched Lost In Translation and it was as great as all the buzz claims it to be.

After I watched it, I started a search to see if I could find out the final line of the movie. Then I realised that I really didn't want to know what Bob said to Charlotte. I didn't want to know because, whatever was said, was between them.

I did, however, head over to Metacritic to check out some of the reviews. One numbing review just made me angry and sad. Angry and sad because a person who is, apparently, paid to critique movies can be so damned wrong. I leave you the link to this horribly misguided review, but ask that you don't click on it.

In this way, by providing a link that nobody clicks, I feel I am somehow protesting his opinion.

Go your hands, and Please the tap

A couple of years ago, I performed improv as part of a foursome called 4Play. As the summer run ran its course, it became slightly challenging coming up with interesting and/or fun introductions, night after night.

Today, I came across this intro I wrote for one of our final performances. It was written in English, then, using dictionary.com's translator, translated into German, then French, and finally, back into English.

If I remember correctly, gadabout Nils Ling was in the audience this night and was spontaneously asked to come up on stage and read the introduction. Never one to extinguish an opportunity in the limelight, he combusted the following:

Very honoured ladies, and very honoured gentlemen, good evening, and make good receipt as 4Play’s “At One Fistful Improv”.
The hour is my pleasure this evening, to introduce the players of the visualization.
Upward first…he turns into, soon, to greener pastures. But, while he is always here, know that he will operate it blue. A set of the applause, for…Od Rashed.
Afterwards…it is each preferential Martian. I legend that because it is the only cultural reference it covers. Go your hands, for…Rob the MacLean.
Up thirdly…its wife could enter at any time with the work, but until this point in time comes, he will place here on the strange faces, fairly for you. Give upward, for… Rainnie Matte.
And in conclusion…the adhesive that keeps each whole…at least, therefore, he says us that its trousers are sticking. Please the tap, for…Rob the MacDonald.

It is it, the people…It is 4Play…It is “Fistful of Improv”.

I particularly like the lines asking for applause. I'll not translate the whole thing here, but will only say in reference to Matt's intro, his wife was very much pregnant and her going into labour was a distinct possibility.

Danger! High Voltage!

For the longest time, I've actively disliked 'urban' music. It didn't speak to me, it wasn't produced for me, it had nothing to offer me. I wasn't going to expend any effort in trying to understand it, because for the most part, the stuff I heard was stuff I didn't like.

However, over the past decade in particular, it's become impossible to ignore the influence that hiphop (for lack of a better all-encompassing descriptor) has had on popular music, and I don't think it's a stretch to say that hip hop is, right now, totally dominating the music charts. As I continued to ignore it, I just assumed that this domination was because the general public has such awful taste in music. As proof of that theory, I'll just say this: I lived through the '80s.

Then, in the last year in particular, I started to regularly hear hip hop that I actually liked on the radio. Recently, I began to read end-of year 'best of' lists from various sources, and many of the critics were lauding hip hop albums and songs that I never heard or heard of. One critic in particular wrote something that stuck with me. She (I think it was a 'she' but I sadly don't remember where I read it) said that not since the era of The Beatles was music being made that is, at the same time, leading the way in artistic expression and innovation, and on top of the popular charts. Hmm, 'artistic expression and innovation'? In hip hop? Isn't it just black guys putting down women and talking about gang-shit and jewellery?

Sure, there were some catchy songs, but I began to wonder: What was I missing?

So, I made a decision last week to dive into the genre. The first thing I did was discover *cough*download*cough* a bunch of singles that were on a bunch of 'best singles of the year' lists.

So far, I'm really liking what I've been listening to. I've discovered some fantastic songs that I'm pretty sure will be permanently stored in my library. I doubt that I'll totally immerse myself into the music, and I'm pretty sure I'll not succumb to the bling bling of the culture. But I'm kind of excited about the idea that my mind is now open to the notion that hip hop music perhaps does have something to offer to me.

Unlike a born-again Christian who tries to get everyone around him to 'see the light', I'll not inundate you with 'you gotta hear this' posts.

However, I will offer this: if you're like I was, and unsure if all this noise is worth getting into, just listen to one song. Try "Danger! High Voltage!" by Electric Six for starters. If you like that (and I can't possibly imagine anyone not liking that), then try another.

Oh, and please, start calling me "Rob Boi"

The Monty Hall Problem

Apparently, I enjoy Probability Mathematics.

Here's one that came across yesterday:

You are on a gameshow, and there are three doors. Behind one door, there is a car. Behind the other two are goats. You are asked to pick the door you hope the car is behind. You make your choice.

The host then shows you what's behind one of the other doors. Naturally, he shows you some goats. Now there are two doors left, one of which is the door you picked. Behind one is the car, behind the other, goats.

The host gives you the option of sticking with the door you picked, or switching your choice to the other door.

Now, it seems as if this chance to switch would be fairly inconsequential. It seems as if, with two doors left, it's a 50/50 chance that you are right, so what's the point of switching. Or, what's the harm of switching?

But it's not a 50/50 proposition.

In fact, if you do switch, your chance of winning the car increases to 66%.

So, if you're ever in situations like this, always choose to switch and you'll be right 2 out of 3 times.

Camper +/- Van +/- Beethoven

Ever since I first discovered them years and years ago, I had simply assumed that the band was called Camper Van Beethoven, with the "Van" belonging more to "Beethoven" so that it would be Camper (slightest pause) Van+Beethoven.

Yesterday, I had a thought. What if it's Camper Van Beethoven, with the "Van" belonging more to the "Camper", so that it would be Camper+Van (slightest pause) Beethoven?

Or perhaps each word should be given equal due?

How will this uncertainty affect my life?