Cult of (lack of) Personality

First of all, what is happening to Paula Abdul? A coupla weeks ago, she showed up on American Idol with her right arm in a sling. Now, last night, she had on far too much makeup, like she was trying to cover up facial bruising. Paula, is everything okay at home? Is somebody treating you like their personal punching bag? You can tell me.

Whatever the case, that was some ugly Paula makeup last night. Very trampish.

Speaking of Ugly, how about that blue dress the Diana DeGonner was wearing? Yeesh. Nothing like picking a dress that makes you look stumpy while accentuating your tummy roll. Speaking of tummy rolls, I’m afraid Diana is gonna end up going the way of Dawn “Mary Ann” Wells, and Cindy “Shirley” Williams. That is, I fear she’s going to get fat, and sooner than later. You can see it’s in her genes.

But, how did she sing, you ask. Not very well, I answer. On her first song, she sounded nervous and her voice was weak and trembly. The second song, which was more up-tempo, served her better. But she still wasn’t all that good, I didn’t think.

She’ll be safe tonight, though, and make it to next week, because she’s the last white person in the competition.

As ugly as Diana De-uglyGowner’s dress was, George Huff looked pretty natty in his dark suit, dark shirt and dark tie. Remember the first time we saw George, he looked really old, like he was mid-30’s. (let’s pause here to give us who are currently past mid-30’s a moment to wipe away our tears). Now, he looks like a boy who’s playing at being a man. How’d that happen? George looks like he should be licking a lolipop.

As for his performance, when he was singing his first song, I was thinking that it was too by the book, too note for note, too safe. Simon concurred with me. I like it when I think the same thing as Simon, because he is always right on about the vocal talent. (sometimes he is way off on things like the performer’s personality or their look, but he is very seldom off on his critique of their vocal qualities). When I heard George say he was going to sing “What A Wonderful World” I shuddered. For me, that song has long stopped being a song, and has become an icon for the Big Chill generation. I was pleased to hear him sing it well, though. He spinned it enough to make it distinct, even though the judges chastised him for not doing that. I think their chastisement was more for the first song, though, which was well sung, but lacking his individuality.

George will be safe tonight because he is the last male participant in the competition.

I can’t recall the dress that LaToya ‘R’ Us was wearing, so I won’t comment on it. Except to say that I expect it was just like her performance: Perfectly styled. LaToya did a fantastic job with both of her numbers. But as I was listening to them I was thinking that I don’t think I’d want to buy a record of hers. Yes, there’d be great singing, but that’d be about it. Not much personality emanates out of the pores of LaToya. She definitely has the most polished and professional voice, and she may very well win American Idol, but I don’t think she’s the best choice.

LaToya will be safe tonight because she has the best voice.

The denims and top with dangling chains that Jasmine Triage was wearing didn’t do anything for me. Then again, neither did her singing. She just doesn’t have the singing chops. And anyone who’s downloaded any of my songs here, should agree that I know all about not having singing chops. I never liked Jasmine as a singer, and her personality does nothing for me.

She’ll be the one who gets removed from the competition tonight.

I also don’t remember the outfit that Fantasia was wearing. I thought she did a great job with her two songs, though. I can understand why people don’t like her personality. It’s because she has one and is willing to display it. I guess there are many who are hoping she doesn’t win, but I’m not one of them. I’d be much more inclined to buy, and much more curious about, the music she’d create than I would any other competitor in American Idol.

She’s safe for another week or two.

Finally, I was always impressed with how quickly the show’s editors could, at the end of the show where they recap snippets from the performances, cut in the final competitor’s recap in time for the recap. Last night, though, I saw how it was possible. In the live performance we saw, Fantasia never ended either of her songs with her now-trademark ‘yeah yeah yeah yeah’ vocal run (thank goodness, as I was getting tired of it). Yet, in the recap, they showed the ending to her song, and there it was, the ‘yeah yeah yeah yeah’ vocal run. So, obviously, the recaps (or at least the final performer’s recap) is/are taken from a rehearsal performance. Fair enough.

In conclusion, bye Jasmine.