Because I like to emulate the great American President, George W. Bush, I thought I'd take a page from his campaign trail - specifically, the staged Ask President Bush events - and open up this blog post to answer some questions my legions of readers may want to ask of me.
Just to be like George, (it's a Salon link, you'd need to watch a small advertisement to get a 'daypass' to read the article, sorry) I'm going to have to ask that you profess a pledge of allegiance to my blog before you can gain entrance to the comments section of this post. And of course, once you enter the comments section, you must promise to only ask questions that are either pre-approved, or that are soft-ball enough that I won't stumble over in my response. Also, only ask questions that will make me look good.
Here are topics that I would appreciate you NOT ask/comment about:
- My boyscout attendance record. Unfortunately, the records regarding my attendance at Parkdale - (St.Pius X branch) Boyscout meetings were mistakenly destroyed and/or misplaced.
- The night during Sketch 22, on Battleship HMCS ArtsGuild, when I had the "Comedy Accomplished" banner unfurled, even though there were/are still more comedy shows to perform.
- The gas-mileage of my vehicle, and my firm belief in the necessity to find more fuel for my vehicle at any cost.
- The fact that I continually try to imply that Saddam Hussein was involved in the Sept.11, 2001 attacks on the USA.
- WMD's and WD-40.
Here are topics that are open to questions/comments:
- The family cat, Arista.
- How great my economy is doing. (if you ask questions about this, DO NOT ask questions regarding Mastercard or Visa bills)
- As long as you too are a firm believer in it, you will be allowed to ask questions regarding my undying faith in the Magic 8 Ball.
- Hickory Sticks.
Of course, you are not limited to questions only in thsoe topics, however, I maintain the right to ignore completely any question that I don't want to answer.
So, ask away, friends.