When I become Mayor-Hole of this burg, one of the first crazy laws that I will force all establishments to follow is this: in restaurants of all description, any and all burgers will come with cheese as the default. If you want a burger without cheese, then make that special request. Unless it's specifically called a "Hamburger", I expect cheese on something that has the 'burger' suffix.
I went to A&W for lunch today, and ordered a Poppa Burger. Only when I opened the thing, did I realise that cheese is not the norm on a Poppa Burger. Why oh why not? Still, it was a fantastically great burger. Where else does that happen? Well, with the Whopper at Burger King. One must remember to order a Whopper With Cheese. When I am Mayor-Hole, I will force Bush Dumville to change it so that one must order a Whapper Without Cheese if one doesn't want cheese.
By the way, another of my plans for when I become Mayor-Hole is to take over the Tim Hortons on University Aveneue (by the KFC) and have it set up as a Drive-Thru Complaint department. It will be, in fact, the only place in town where The City will take note of complaints. And only Drive-Thru complaints. There will be no Walk-In complaints. If you don't have a car, tough crap. If you want to complain about it, hire a taxi to take you through the Drive-Thru Complaint Department.
Oh, I have all kinds of crazy ideas for when I become Mayor-Hole.
4 comments:
In the Bizarro-version of your Mayor-Hole universe, you would force McDonalds (which used to have both a Quarter Pounder and a Quarter Pounder with Cheese on the menu) to make people ask for the Quarter Pounder avec fromage, even though they automatically get it anyway.
It only seems fair.
I'm not sure what you are suggesting that I'd be forcing McDonalds to do. In my Mayor-Hole city, McDonalds customers would have two options when ordering Quarter Pounders: 1) "I'll have a Quarter Pounder, please." (this would be the 'avec fromage' default version of the QP), 2) "I'll have a Quarter Pounder, No Cheese, please." (as the title states, no cheese).
In my weak attempt at humour, I was pointing out that if you order a Quarter Pounder now, you get the desired cheese that was so sorely lacking from the Poppa Burger. Used to be you had to explicitly ask for it... Oh never mind, it wasn't that funny.
No. The biggest complaint I have about fast food places is when you go through the drive thru, you EXPECT your order to be what you wanted. Only when you get back to work, park your vehicle, walk up all those stairs, settle your butt down at your desk, open your bag and realize they forgot your straw. Or, they gave you the wrong frigging dressing. That's the worst!
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