How far would you last before being eliminated, in Michael Ondaatje's Elimination Dance (link to text)?
Me? I'd have to get a judge's ruling on the second item: "Those who have resisted depravity." If I got past that, I'd definitely be gone by the 7th item down: "All actors and poets who spit into the first row when they perform."
Here's a Zed link to Bruce MacDonald's short film based on the poem.