Monday, December 1

My Three Wishes

Just in case it happens, I want to be ready. I want to have my three wishes all set, phrased in such a way that the devil or the genie cannot find any loop-holes to trick me. I’d hate to wish, for instance, for ‘good health’ and then be stricken to a wheelchair, unable to use my legs, with the genie saying ‘good’ is a relative term. I want my wishes to be locked-solid; to be unmistakable. I want it to be absolutely clear what I’m wishing for, and absolutely clear what I’ll get for my wishes.

For this, I humbly ask for your free advice. I would be grateful if any of you would look through my wishes and offer any suggestions, additions, deletions to them, with the goal of making them legally clear.

My three wishes, in their most basic form, are this:

1) I wish that I will never have to worry about money.

2) I wish that I will have good health, until the day I die a peaceful death.

3) I wish that I will be creative, clever and coherent until the day I die.

I am not locked into these wishes either. If someone has suggestions for better wishes, please let me know.

I just want to be ready, you know, in case the situation arises.


dave s said...

dear god, man! you're asking for it with these wishes.
i suggest that your first wish be that your next two wishes be completely understood and granted as you intend them to be.
asking that you don't need to worry about money could mean giving you a head injury or something even worse.
asking for good health until the day you die could mean striking you dead immediately.
same goes for your third wish.
be careful, rob. wish-granters are tricksters. yes, that includes all credit card companies.

dave m said...

i'm with dave s on this. you left the major "until i die" loophole!
i'm all for the third wish being three more wishes.
how 'bout
1. health
2. happiness
3. an elected senate

frankie said...

Rephrase your first wish: "I wish to always have enough money to buy anything I want, forever". If you say you just don't want to 'worry' about it, maybe that will just take away your desire to care if you're poor or not. And your second wish consists of two wishes, therefore cancelling your third. And since you already possess creativity, I wouldn't mess with it. And you want to be coherent when you're old? This may not necessarily be a good thing. When you get abandoned to a nursing home you may want to be "off in some other world", you know? Change that wish, pronto. Maybe some food for starving kids in Africa??

Rob MacD said...

I am making a couple of assumptions with the very nature of wish-granting. I am assuming that none of the wishes can relate in any way to the wishes themselves. That way, Dave S's first wish idea (a good one, by the way), and Dave M's '3 more wishes' idea would both be disallowed. Of course, I don't know this, but I assume it would be that way.
As for the 'until I die' loophole. Yes, I'm aware that it's dangerous ground to tread. However, I feel it important to put it out there, to get remedied in this forum so that the loophole can be beaten. Should I include, in a 'good health' wish, time parameters for my death? Say "good health until the time of my death, which shall be no sooner than 50 years, and no later than 75 years, from this point in time."
Again, these wishes are by no means complete, or ready for asking, in the state they currently stand. My goal is to come up with 3 wishes that cannot be mis-interpreted by the granter of the wishes.

Rob MacD said...

Good points, Frankie. However, upon reflection, I'd be nervous to ask for 'money' in case we ever reach a global economy in which 'money' has become obsolete. See, this is exactly the type of thing that a wish-granter might do. I ask for money, and they make money useless in our world.
I think there needs to be some reference in one of the wishes to remaining coherent. Otherwise, becoming a babbling fool would render any other wishes as more-or-less worthless.

Nils Ling said...

Dammit, how many times do I have to tell you kids not to play with that monkey's paw? Somebody's gonna put an eye out ... and don't come crying to me when it happens!