And Major League Baseball's Most Valuable Player is...Magilla Gorilla.
Finally, it's time for our highest award...and the winner of Most Difficult-to-Trace Performance Enhancing Cocktail is... Dr. Benjamin Clamperman.
I am told, by reporters and athletes, that fans don't mind, don't care, that athletes are taking performance enhancing drugs. They (we) just want to see more home runs, faster runners, higher jumpers. I would be surprised if this is true. I would hope that fans see this as I see it. I can only speak for myself, but as a fan, I am absolutley against the practice of enhancing one's performance through means other than hard work and perseverance.
To me, records become meaningless. Breaking them become valueless. I find it increasingly more difficult to allow myself to cheer on athletes, for fear of finding out they cheat. I was so euphoric when Ben Johnson won Gold, so disappointed when I was told he cheated. My enthusiasm for Donovan Bailey's performances was greatly tempered because I didn't want to be let down again. I am saddened by that.
Now, when Barry Bonds breaks records, I think "Meh." So what.
Sports are becoming less about personal achievement and more about experiment.
Let's stop saying these people play sports. Let's change it to "exsportiments".