If there's anyone who still reads this thing and wants to join in on another season of picking who will win NFL games each week, head to this link and sign up:
The Weekly NFL Picks Page
Once you sign up (they probably require an email address, but after a number of years being involved, I can attest to the fact that they don't do anything with your address), search for the group The Annekenstein Monster. The password is sketch22
You don't have to be into football, or knowledgeable about the teams, really. Since each game is based on the betting line, it's really pretty much a crap-shoot as to whether you're right or not each game. That's what I tell myself, anyway, since I basically suck at it. Those who win tend to think that their skill gets them their victories, but they are wrong.
So, sign up and see how you do.
Sunday, August 19
Time For NFL Picks
Time For NFL Picks
If there's anyone who still reads this thing and wants to join in on another season of picking who will win NFL games each week, head to this link and sign up:
The Weekly NFL Picks Page
Once you sign up (they probably require an email address, but after a number of years being involved, I can attest to the fact that they don't do anything with your address), search for the group The Annekenstein Monster. The password is sketch22
You don't have to be into football, or knowledgeable about the teams, really. Since each game is based on the betting line, it's really pretty much a crap-shoot as to whether you're right or not each game. That's what I tell myself, anyway, since I basically suck at it. Those who win tend to think that their skill gets them their victories, but they are wrong.
So, sign up and see how you do.
Thursday, August 2
I Will Double - No, Triple - Your Wages
So, I'm reading where WalMart in Mexico has been paying some employees $0/hr. That is zero dollars per hour. It is also zero dollars per week. (is it bad that I don't bother to provide a link to the story?)
Well, I have some work that needs to be done around my home, and I hereby state that I will promise to pay those same workers three times their WalMart wage to come to my home and work for me. Just imagine! Your wage will instantly be multiplied by three.
You'll have to provide your own transportation to and from Mexico, though. And you cannot pitch a tent on our lawn. Still, though, three times your current wage!!
Apply by clicking on this link.
I Will Double - No, Triple - Your Wages
So, I'm reading where WalMart in Mexico has been paying some employees $0/hr. That is zero dollars per hour. It is also zero dollars per week. (is it bad that I don't bother to provide a link to the story?)
Well, I have some work that needs to be done around my home, and I hereby state that I will promise to pay those same workers three times their WalMart wage to come to my home and work for me. Just imagine! Your wage will instantly be multiplied by three.
You'll have to provide your own transportation to and from Mexico, though. And you cannot pitch a tent on our lawn. Still, though, three times your current wage!!
Apply by clicking on this link.
Monday, July 23
Movie Plots as Limericks
I saw a site that rewrote famous poems as limericks.
I thought it'd be fun to do the same with films.
Here's two to start with:
Psycho
A woman steals money at lunch hour
Gets surprisingly killed in the shower.
Balsam investigates
And meets Mother Bates.
Poor Norman ends up in Nut Tower.
Saving Private Ryan
Starts and ends with guns and bombs flyin'
In between is the search for bro Ryan.
Tom Hanks wonders why
He needs to die for this guy.
Old Ryan remembers, starts cryin'.
It's A Wonderful Life
There once was a man named George Bailey
Who tried to leave town almost daily.
"End my life!" he insisted.
Saw his life not-existed.
His friends rallied round, all sang gaily.
Wanna play along? Add your own movie limericks in the comments.
Challenge: Be the first to turn the entire LotR trilogy into a single limerick.
Movie Plots as Limericks
I saw a site that rewrote famous poems as limericks.
I thought it'd be fun to do the same with films.
Here's two to start with:
Psycho
A woman steals money at lunch hour
Gets surprisingly killed in the shower.
Balsam investigates
And meets Mother Bates.
Poor Norman ends up in Nut Tower.
Saving Private Ryan
Starts and ends with guns and bombs flyin'
In between is the search for bro Ryan.
Tom Hanks wonders why
He needs to die for this guy.
Old Ryan remembers, starts cryin'.
It's A Wonderful Life
There once was a man named George Bailey
Who tried to leave town almost daily.
"End my life!" he insisted.
Saw his life not-existed.
His friends rallied round, all sang gaily.
Wanna play along? Add your own movie limericks in the comments.
Challenge: Be the first to turn the entire LotR trilogy into a single limerick.
Friday, July 20
Sketch22 - Now With More Penis
So, last night Jason Rogerson, the extraordinary producer/writer of Sketch22, subbed on stage for Harmony, who is away this weekend learning about positive energy and such.
A big crowd showed up to see Jason's return to the Sketch22 stage (he was also on stage for our Christmas show), and it was a great night. Lots of fun, some honest screwups by pretty much everyone, and perhaps the biggest corpsing I've suffered on stage for a number of years (let's just say that in that super-tight "Journey" costume, there was little doubt at one point that Jason is indeed a man. A circumsized man by the look of it).
Anyway, Jason returns to the stage tonight before things return to normal next weekend. Check it out if you have the opportunity.
Sketch22 - Now With More Penis
So, last night Jason Rogerson, the extraordinary producer/writer of Sketch22, subbed on stage for Harmony, who is away this weekend learning about positive energy and such.
A big crowd showed up to see Jason's return to the Sketch22 stage (he was also on stage for our Christmas show), and it was a great night. Lots of fun, some honest screwups by pretty much everyone, and perhaps the biggest corpsing I've suffered on stage for a number of years (let's just say that in that super-tight "Journey" costume, there was little doubt at one point that Jason is indeed a man. A circumsized man by the look of it).
Anyway, Jason returns to the stage tonight before things return to normal next weekend. Check it out if you have the opportunity.
Tuesday, July 17
Two Very Special Episodes of Sketch22
This Thursday and Friday, Sketch22 deals with the very serious topic. Mrs. Douglas comes home early from PTA and catches the kids smoking marijuana in the basement. Lessons are learned.
Really, Harmony is away this weekend, doing special Harmony things, and what's a sketch group to do? Well, they get their producer, Jason Rogerson to wiggle into Harmony's costumes and play her roles himself.
SEE! J-Ro in the super tight Miss Eyesore Journey Uniform!!
SEE! Jason in the virginal-white-but-slutty-in-all-other-respects short short nurse's outfit!
SEE! Mr. Rogerson!! On Stage!! Without a Bass!!
It's going to be two unique shows, to be sure. Thursday's show will be as if Jason and the Rest of the Cast are nervous teenage lovers, excitedly grabbing at each other's private parts in the backseat of Jason's parent's car. Friday's performance will resemble the night after the wedding night of our blessed union: after the fumblings of the night before, each will be eager to tease and please the other.
Yeah, okay, enough with the teenage lover metaphor.
Come check it out. It's going to be a fun couple of shows.
Thursday & Friday, 8pm, The Guild, Charlottetown.
Tickets $20 - but bring an extra fifty cents per ticket because The Guild is inexplicably demanding a $0.50 surcharge on each ticket.
Reserve your tickets by calling 620-3333
Two Very Special Episodes of Sketch22
This Thursday and Friday, Sketch22 deals with the very serious topic. Mrs. Douglas comes home early from PTA and catches the kids smoking marijuana in the basement. Lessons are learned.
Really, Harmony is away this weekend, doing special Harmony things, and what's a sketch group to do? Well, they get their producer, Jason Rogerson to wiggle into Harmony's costumes and play her roles himself.
SEE! J-Ro in the super tight Miss Eyesore Journey Uniform!!
SEE! Jason in the virginal-white-but-slutty-in-all-other-respects short short nurse's outfit!
SEE! Mr. Rogerson!! On Stage!! Without a Bass!!
It's going to be two unique shows, to be sure. Thursday's show will be as if Jason and the Rest of the Cast are nervous teenage lovers, excitedly grabbing at each other's private parts in the backseat of Jason's parent's car. Friday's performance will resemble the night after the wedding night of our blessed union: after the fumblings of the night before, each will be eager to tease and please the other.
Yeah, okay, enough with the teenage lover metaphor.
Come check it out. It's going to be a fun couple of shows.
Thursday & Friday, 8pm, The Guild, Charlottetown.
Tickets $20 - but bring an extra fifty cents per ticket because The Guild is inexplicably demanding a $0.50 surcharge on each ticket.
Reserve your tickets by calling 620-3333
Saturday, July 14
I Made A Boy Cry Today
I was at the Superstore, trying to find corn chowder in the soup aisle. In the middle of the aisle was a mother, a probably 11 year old boy, and two younger sisters. The mother was exasperated. When I came upon the scene, the boy was holding a cellphone out, baiting the mother. She was obviously fed up, and asking the boy to give her the phone.
"What are you gonna do? Gonna phone Dad? No you're not!", the boy taunted, not giving up the phone. He kept saying this whole bit over and over again, each time more and more petulant. The mother tried her best to keep her patience, but was on the verge of a blowup.
This cellphone fish-and-bait went on for about a minute. I remember thinking how this kid is just 10 years old or so and already pretty much in control of his mother. That made me mad at him. Also mad at her, as I really wanted her to declare her parental power over him. Then I started daydreaming about how this woman likely has very little power in her household and suffers her lot in life.
I'm not sure how the cellphone incident was resolved because I turned my attention to corn chowder. Before I could choose any, though, the boy started running around their cart, punching the back of one of the girls, knocking groceries in the cart all over the place. The girl starts crying, the mother yells at him ineffectually, and he swears at her and calls her demeaning words. The mother is thisclose to freaking out and crying, but focuses all those emotions into reorganizing the grocery cart and stating the usual "wait 'til your father gets here" and "this is the last time I take you grocery shopping" desperate lies.
There's the family: Mom fuming into her groceries, older daughter crying, younger daughter helpless, and little tough-guy kid strutting around like the king of the world.
There's nobody else in the aisle but us. They're still in the middle of the aisle and I'm near the end of the aisle, as he begins to expand his domain of power. He walks up towards where I am.
"Hey, kid," I say, using my stern adult father voice. "Don't be an asshole. Treat your mother with some respect. She doesn't deserve to be treated that way."
At this moment this thought ran through my head: "how do I know what kind of a mom she is, maybe she does deserve this heap of abuse" but I was pretty sure she was the victim here.
The kid looks at me and I can tell he's a bit shaken by being talked to by a stranger. He retreats to the safety of his domain, around his family. As he's walking back though, in reply to my "she doesn't deserve to be treated that way" he says "Yes she does. She's an {expletive I couldn't quite make out}.
Back in his power-zone, he looks back at me. The mother, I can tell, has heard our little exchange, but I can't tell if she's appreciative of my effort or not. She's pretty tight-faced at this point. He's looking at me, and I give him a ridiculous evil-eye stare. A really long, intense evil-eye stare. A threatening, really long, intense evil-eye stare. I imagine I looked like I was ready to rumble with him.
It's affecting him, I can tell. I can practically see the tough-guy fizzle out of his demeanor.
To reclaim his power over his family, he tries to sit in the cart, but his mother tells him not to. He then tries to pull the cart past me, even though his mother is still trying to sort the groceries he knocked over earlier. As he passes me, he lets go of the cart.
I quietly yell (yes, it's possible) "HEY! Smarten the fuck up, kid. Asshole kids grow up to be asshole men. And nobody likes asshole men."
By the time I finish my sentence, he's walked past me, out of the aisle. After vacantly looking at the chowders, I walk my cart out a moment later and see him leaning against the end of the aisle. He's silently crying.
I made a boy cry. I didn't know how to feel. Even though he was a total hellian asshole kid, I didn't know how to feel.
And, I didn't get any corn chowder.