Dear Penthouse Letters: I Got The Shaft

Dear Penthouse Letters,
I never thought I'd ever be writing to you, but after what happened to me recently, I just had to share the experience.
I am a young, attractive, male premier of a small Canadian province.  At a recent premier's conference, I became attracted to the demeanor of a brash, outspoken fellow-premier.  After seeing his passion in action, I knew he was a "have" that this "have-not" politician just had to get to know better.
Anyway, without getting into too much detail, I ended up in bed with this person and he got on top and gave me the shaft.
I was not surprised, because my uncle always used to tell me when "two men get into bed together, one is going to get the shaft". You may think it's a grotesque scene, as my uncle does, but that is your hangup.  I saw it as a mutual exploration; two grown men stroking each other's caucus.

I just hope he calls me for a second date.

Sincerely,
Red In The Tie, But Not In The Face