Patton Oswalt: Christmas Shoes

Watch this. It's pretty freakin' funny.

And this routine from the very funny Patton Oswalt reminded me of this "Christmas Shoe Scam" post I wrote way back in 2004.  Kinda funny, but looking back on it now, it needed a 2nd draft.

Patton Oswalt: Christmas Shoes

Watch this. It's pretty freakin' funny.

And this routine from the very funny Patton Oswalt reminded me of this "Christmas Shoe Scam" post I wrote way back in 2004.  Kinda funny, but looking back on it now, it needed a 2nd draft.

Beat The Monster

Come play The Annekenstein Monster Daily Trivia!
10 new questions every day.  Be right, be fast!  Be right fast!
Can you beat The Monster?

Beat The Monster

Come play The Annekenstein Monster Daily Trivia!
10 new questions every day.  Be right, be fast!  Be right fast!
Can you beat The Monster?

Inmates and Deceased Get H1N1 Vaccine Shots Before PEI School Children

CHARLOTTETOWN - The furor continues.  Plans to vaccinate P.E.I children for the swine flu have been put on hold because of a national shortage of vaccine, but Island inmates will continue getting theirs.  And now it's been reported that the recently deceased will also get swine flu shots before children receive theirs.
Parents and the living are livid.  However, Dr. Heather Morrison, the province's chief health officer, said inmates are considered a priority group because they are in a closed facility.  As for the recently deceased, Morrison said "they're also considered a priority group because you can't get a more closed facility than a coffin."
GREAT NEWS
But not everyone is outraged at inmates and the dead receiving shots before children.
"I thought it was great news", said Edgar McKenzie, who recently died after a long battle with cancer.  "I was too sick to go stand in the lines to get my shot, but now that I'm dead, I get to go to the front of the line.  Hopefully, someone'll carry me there. Yeah, it's too bad for the children, I suppose, but then again, I'm dead.  I mean, that's pretty serious."
Another person who is perfectly fine with the way the vaccine is being priortized is Madeline Arsenault.  Her son, Lonnie Arsenault, recently died in the Sleepy Hollow Provincial Correctional Facility.  "He was in there for hitting his wife and what not, but she's an awful thing, her," says Arsenault.  "Anyways, he died in there, and so now he gets two shots.  One for being an inmate and one for being dead.  He's not going to get the swine flu now.  And we was worried he was right at risk, because Lonnie sure liked to fornicate with the pigs."
Officials are advising parents of school age children that if they are truly worried about their children contracting the swine flu, they do have options.  "Get your kids to steal something.  Or, killing them would be good too," advises Morrison.

Inmates and Deceased Get H1N1 Vaccine Shots Before PEI School Children

CHARLOTTETOWN - The furor continues.  Plans to vaccinate P.E.I children for the swine flu have been put on hold because of a national shortage of vaccine, but Island inmates will continue getting theirs.  And now it's been reported that the recently deceased will also get swine flu shots before children receive theirs.
Parents and the living are livid.  However, Dr. Heather Morrison, the province's chief health officer, said inmates are considered a priority group because they are in a closed facility.  As for the recently deceased, Morrison said "they're also considered a priority group because you can't get a more closed facility than a coffin."
GREAT NEWS
But not everyone is outraged at inmates and the dead receiving shots before children.
"I thought it was great news", said Edgar McKenzie, who recently died after a long battle with cancer.  "I was too sick to go stand in the lines to get my shot, but now that I'm dead, I get to go to the front of the line.  Hopefully, someone'll carry me there. Yeah, it's too bad for the children, I suppose, but then again, I'm dead.  I mean, that's pretty serious."
Another person who is perfectly fine with the way the vaccine is being priortized is Madeline Arsenault.  Her son, Lonnie Arsenault, recently died in the Sleepy Hollow Provincial Correctional Facility.  "He was in there for hitting his wife and what not, but she's an awful thing, her," says Arsenault.  "Anyways, he died in there, and so now he gets two shots.  One for being an inmate and one for being dead.  He's not going to get the swine flu now.  And we was worried he was right at risk, because Lonnie sure liked to fornicate with the pigs."
Officials are advising parents of school age children that if they are truly worried about their children contracting the swine flu, they do have options.  "Get your kids to steal something.  Or, killing them would be good too," advises Morrison.

Watch This Awesome Commercial. Or Don't. I Don't Care.

This is fantastic.

Watch This Awesome Commercial. Or Don't. I Don't Care.

This is fantastic.

Nicole Kidman: Does this doll make me look fat?

Some person takes Barbie dolls and turns them into more realistic-looking versions of celebrities etc.
This is Nicole Kidman (but I think the doll's arm has too much meat on it):


and here's my favourite, Wonder Woman (Lynda Carter has the scariest eyes ever):

Nicole Kidman: Does this doll make me look fat?

Some person takes Barbie dolls and turns them into more realistic-looking versions of celebrities etc.
This is Nicole Kidman (but I think the doll's arm has too much meat on it):


and here's my favourite, Wonder Woman (Lynda Carter has the scariest eyes ever):

Forget the Phoenix Coyotes - Buy the Tamil Tigers.

From the CBC website - Tamil Tigers Look To Regroup in Canada.
Didn't read it all, but I figure that Jim Balsillie is wanting to buy the Tamil Tigers and move them to Canada.  But Gary Bettman is refusing to allow it to happen.

Forget the Phoenix Coyotes - Buy the Tamil Tigers.

From the CBC website - Tamil Tigers Look To Regroup in Canada.
Didn't read it all, but I figure that Jim Balsillie is wanting to buy the Tamil Tigers and move them to Canada.  But Gary Bettman is refusing to allow it to happen.

I've Always Been Afraid of Haiti - Here's Why:

I know people don't like to read things that are more than 140 characters long, but follow this link to a fascinating story about real zombies in Haiti.
It's well worth the read.
Click here to take you to the story about Nadathe, who was turned into a zombie.

I've Always Been Afraid of Haiti - Here's Why:

I know people don't like to read things that are more than 140 characters long, but follow this link to a fascinating story about real zombies in Haiti.
It's well worth the read.
Click here to take you to the story about Nadathe, who was turned into a zombie.

Alberton Mayor-Elect looks Awesome!!!

From The Guardian (the paper that covers The Island like the dew, except it's a dew that puts black ink on your fingers) comes this photo of Michael Murphy, who won* the Alberton Mayoral race by two votes.
*pending a recount

This is, without question, the most awesome looking mayor I can imagine. I don't know what his politics are, or his mandate, but I totally want him to be my mayor*.
*But my want is not enough for me to actually move to Alberton, obviously.

Compare this guy with the little leprechaun popup that shows up when you visit the webpage for my city's mayor.

Congratulations Michael Murphy.  I hope you win the recount.

Alberton Mayor-Elect looks Awesome!!!

From The Guardian (the paper that covers The Island like the dew, except it's a dew that puts black ink on your fingers) comes this photo of Michael Murphy, who won* the Alberton Mayoral race by two votes.
*pending a recount

This is, without question, the most awesome looking mayor I can imagine. I don't know what his politics are, or his mandate, but I totally want him to be my mayor*.
*But my want is not enough for me to actually move to Alberton, obviously.

Compare this guy with the little leprechaun popup that shows up when you visit the webpage for my city's mayor.

Congratulations Michael Murphy.  I hope you win the recount.

This Soul-less Song Makes Me Miss Michael Jackson

Here's the new single from Adam Lambert, he of American Idol 2nd place fame.

To be honest, I haven't listened to the whole thing.  I got pretty bored early on, and then skipped ahead a couple of times to see if the song got any better.

It didn't really.  It's not that it's a bad song.  It's okay.  It's too auto-tuned (but what isn't these days, other than Neko Case).

As I listened to its blandness, I thought "This sounds like it could have been a Michael Jackson song."  Then I started imagining how much better it could have been if MJ had recorded it.  He would've infused it with the energy that seems to be lacking.

And I'm talking about a Dead Michael Jackson.  That's how bland this song is - even a dead MJ would give it more zest than it currently musters.

Anyway, here's the song:

This Soul-less Song Makes Me Miss Michael Jackson

Here's the new single from Adam Lambert, he of American Idol 2nd place fame.

To be honest, I haven't listened to the whole thing.  I got pretty bored early on, and then skipped ahead a couple of times to see if the song got any better.

It didn't really.  It's not that it's a bad song.  It's okay.  It's too auto-tuned (but what isn't these days, other than Neko Case).

As I listened to its blandness, I thought "This sounds like it could have been a Michael Jackson song."  Then I started imagining how much better it could have been if MJ had recorded it.  He would've infused it with the energy that seems to be lacking.

And I'm talking about a Dead Michael Jackson.  That's how bland this song is - even a dead MJ would give it more zest than it currently musters.

Anyway, here's the song:

The Vomiting Starts at 5:50

So, yeah... The Balloon Boy.

What an odd little bit of Newstertainment.  I got a bit caught up in it yesterday afternoon at work when a co-worker came and told me it was happening.  I found a live local (local to the story) news feed on the internet and watched as the balloon sailed along high above Colorado.  It was rather fascinating. Horrible, of course, to imagine a little 6 year old boy in that balloon, no doubt scared out of his mind.
It's always interesting when things like this get covered live, when there's so much air time to fill up while everyone waits for something else to happen.  Often stupid things get said and ridiculous notions are brought up.
As I started watching, one of my first thoughts was "if it's a helium balloon, I wonder is the boy breathing helium or does he have access to oxygen?"  Several minutes later, that thought occurred to someone being interviewed by the male and female local new anchors covering the story. "If there's no oxygen, and he only has helium to breathe, well, he'd already be dead" said a somber expert of something-or-other.
This possibility struck the female news anchor rather hard as she gasped and said "Oh my, the thought of that takes my breath away!"   A bad choice of words there, perhaps, even if it was, literally, true.

So, yeah, they discover the boy wasn't in the balloon, and that's when I stopped watching.  I assume (in order of assumption) a) he never was in the balloon and that the boy is missing somewhere.  Maybe he went chasing after the balloon after it left the yard; b) he was in the balloon and fell out somewhere and is now dead; or c) it was a hoax.
Later I hear that the boy was found.  At that point, my interest in the story is done, especially after I start hearing reports about the family and its eccentricities.  It had turned from a legitimate news story to the usual voyeuristic nonsense that news channels love to investigate to death.  Count me out.

I considered it Case Closed as far as I was concerned.  But I couldn't help myself getting back into it after I read the headline on The Huffington Post:  Falcon Heene Vomits:  WATCH Balloon boy Throw Up On Today & Good Morning America. 
That story is about how Falcon has the flu and threw up twice, once off camera and once on camera.

There is, of course, video.  I refuse to watch it, though.  However, for those of you who simply must watch, as the article informs you:  The vomiting starts 5:50 into the clip.

And this is what we have become.

The Vomiting Starts at 5:50

So, yeah... The Balloon Boy.

What an odd little bit of Newstertainment.  I got a bit caught up in it yesterday afternoon at work when a co-worker came and told me it was happening.  I found a live local (local to the story) news feed on the internet and watched as the balloon sailed along high above Colorado.  It was rather fascinating. Horrible, of course, to imagine a little 6 year old boy in that balloon, no doubt scared out of his mind.
It's always interesting when things like this get covered live, when there's so much air time to fill up while everyone waits for something else to happen.  Often stupid things get said and ridiculous notions are brought up.
As I started watching, one of my first thoughts was "if it's a helium balloon, I wonder is the boy breathing helium or does he have access to oxygen?"  Several minutes later, that thought occurred to someone being interviewed by the male and female local new anchors covering the story. "If there's no oxygen, and he only has helium to breathe, well, he'd already be dead" said a somber expert of something-or-other.
This possibility struck the female news anchor rather hard as she gasped and said "Oh my, the thought of that takes my breath away!"   A bad choice of words there, perhaps, even if it was, literally, true.

So, yeah, they discover the boy wasn't in the balloon, and that's when I stopped watching.  I assume (in order of assumption) a) he never was in the balloon and that the boy is missing somewhere.  Maybe he went chasing after the balloon after it left the yard; b) he was in the balloon and fell out somewhere and is now dead; or c) it was a hoax.
Later I hear that the boy was found.  At that point, my interest in the story is done, especially after I start hearing reports about the family and its eccentricities.  It had turned from a legitimate news story to the usual voyeuristic nonsense that news channels love to investigate to death.  Count me out.

I considered it Case Closed as far as I was concerned.  But I couldn't help myself getting back into it after I read the headline on The Huffington Post:  Falcon Heene Vomits:  WATCH Balloon boy Throw Up On Today & Good Morning America. 
That story is about how Falcon has the flu and threw up twice, once off camera and once on camera.

There is, of course, video.  I refuse to watch it, though.  However, for those of you who simply must watch, as the article informs you:  The vomiting starts 5:50 into the clip.

And this is what we have become.

Am I Still Here

Maybe.

Just maybe.

Am I Still Here

Maybe.

Just maybe.

Sketch22 - Now With Extra Nights

Here's a bit of news for you:

The Confederation Centre of the Arts has decided to give Sketch22 an extra two weekends of late night comedy at The Mack.  New shows added are Friday August 28, and Saturday August 29.  Plus a special Thursday night show on September 3, and the whole season now wraps up neat and tidy on Saturday September 5.

If you haven't seen the show yet, do yourself a favour and come see it.

Sketch22 - Now with Extra Nights!

Sketch22 - Now With Extra Nights

Here's a bit of news for you:

The Confederation Centre of the Arts has decided to give Sketch22 an extra two weekends of late night comedy at The Mack.  New shows added are Friday August 28, and Saturday August 29.  Plus a special Thursday night show on September 3, and the whole season now wraps up neat and tidy on Saturday September 5.

If you haven't seen the show yet, do yourself a favour and come see it.

Sketch22 - Now with Extra Nights!

3 Small Backwards Steps For A Man...

... one giant leap of awesome for me.

I remember watching the Motown 25th Anniversary show.  I remember it was a pretty good production, but when Michael Jackson came on and performed Billie Jean, it took the night to a whole other level of energy.
He was electrifying.  And when he did that moonwalk... man oh man, all kinds of people had to re-evaluate what awesome was.
Here's the performance:

3 Small Backwards Steps For A Man...

... one giant leap of awesome for me.

I remember watching the Motown 25th Anniversary show.  I remember it was a pretty good production, but when Michael Jackson came on and performed Billie Jean, it took the night to a whole other level of energy.
He was electrifying.  And when he did that moonwalk... man oh man, all kinds of people had to re-evaluate what awesome was.
Here's the performance:

Harvey Weinstein Is A Tarantino Character

I was reading this quote about Tarantino's new film Inglorious Basterds, and it struck me:  Harvey Weinstein's response could so easily fit into a scene from some Tarantino film.  The cadence, the language, the feel of it.  Can't you just imagine QT playing some harried character and spouting out the HW quotation verbatim? 
I know I can.

GQ grills Harvey Weinstein about the final cut:

GQ: So the stories about him being asked to cut 40 minutes out of the movie aren’t true?

HW: Those stories are all untrue. There’s no fucking way. Here, read my lips: That is nuts. Please don’t even write that, it’s insanity. There’s not even a question of that. Whatever you’re reading, it’s like some insane blogger… There’s no truth to any of this. He’s not gonna cut. What he’s doing is just reorganizing some scenes. I mean, the guy had six weeks to cut his movie [for Cannes]; most guys take six months. Most guys take a year. When I worked with Martin [Scorsese], we’d do eighteen months in post-production. Quentin Tarantino cuts a movie in six weeks? Come on, there’s shit on that cutting-room floor that’ll blow your brains out. I was telling Quentin the opposite—"You should put that shit back in the movie." There’s scenes with Brad Pitt and the Basterds, and I’m praying he puts that shit back in, ‘cause it’s un-fucking-believably great. Listen—this movie will be between two hours and twenty minutes and two hours and twenty-seven minutes. I don’t think it’s going to be shorter—it’s just a question of rearranging. I know he’s putting footage back into the movie. I know he’s got some cool shit that he didn’t get time to address.

Harvey Weinstein Is A Tarantino Character

I was reading this quote about Tarantino's new film Inglorious Basterds, and it struck me:  Harvey Weinstein's response could so easily fit into a scene from some Tarantino film.  The cadence, the language, the feel of it.  Can't you just imagine QT playing some harried character and spouting out the HW quotation verbatim? 
I know I can.

GQ grills Harvey Weinstein about the final cut:

GQ: So the stories about him being asked to cut 40 minutes out of the movie aren’t true?

HW: Those stories are all untrue. There’s no fucking way. Here, read my lips: That is nuts. Please don’t even write that, it’s insanity. There’s not even a question of that. Whatever you’re reading, it’s like some insane blogger… There’s no truth to any of this. He’s not gonna cut. What he’s doing is just reorganizing some scenes. I mean, the guy had six weeks to cut his movie [for Cannes]; most guys take six months. Most guys take a year. When I worked with Martin [Scorsese], we’d do eighteen months in post-production. Quentin Tarantino cuts a movie in six weeks? Come on, there’s shit on that cutting-room floor that’ll blow your brains out. I was telling Quentin the opposite—"You should put that shit back in the movie." There’s scenes with Brad Pitt and the Basterds, and I’m praying he puts that shit back in, ‘cause it’s un-fucking-believably great. Listen—this movie will be between two hours and twenty minutes and two hours and twenty-seven minutes. I don’t think it’s going to be shorter—it’s just a question of rearranging. I know he’s putting footage back into the movie. I know he’s got some cool shit that he didn’t get time to address.

Prince Might Have Just Turned Me Into Teh Gay

I've got a huge crush on Prince.  Holy sweet Jesus!
The man owns the stage, owns the falsetto, and may very well own my heart.

Watch it before it gets pulled.

Prince Might Have Just Turned Me Into Teh Gay

I've got a huge crush on Prince.  Holy sweet Jesus!
The man owns the stage, owns the falsetto, and may very well own my heart.

Watch it before it gets pulled.

Chimp - Poot - video

Some people told me they couldn't view the previous video of Chimp's Poot, so here's a YouTube version.

Let me know if you still can't view it.

Chimp - Poot - video

Some people told me they couldn't view the previous video of Chimp's Poot, so here's a YouTube version.

Let me know if you still can't view it.

I Am A White Person...

... and I love this ad.  I'd definitely shop at The Red House.

I Am A White Person...

... and I love this ad.  I'd definitely shop at The Red House.

Auto Tuned News Sounds Awesome!

Auto Tuned News Sounds Awesome!

Rob's American Idol Top 7 Part 2 Review

I missed last week's AI, and didn't review it.

You know what I'm really hating about AI this year?  The childish behaviour of the judges.  Especially Simon and Paula.  I don't really care that they play-fight, but it irks me to no end when that play-fighting gets in the way of the other judges comments, and thus causing the show to run long.

There.

The performers:

Lil sang I'm Every Woman.  Oh man, baby's got back-talk.  Yes, she has a huge bum and it was splendidly showcased in tight black spandex or whatever.  Her singing was awful.  The background singers' vocals drove the song, while Lil hooped and grunted and tried to get soulful.  She failed.  Worst performance of the night.  I hated how she interrupted the judges comments and demanded that her performance wasn't karaoke.  The issue, Lil, isn't that it was or wasn't karaoke.  The issue is you have no idea who you are.  You need to shut up and heed other advice.  Except, I expect you to be gone this week.

Kris sang "She Works Hard For the Money".  I liked his acoustic, it's-not-disco arrangement.  I thought his vocals were strong.  I just can't see Kris as anything other than a light-weight musical entertainer.  Second best performance of the night.

Danny sang "September".  I found this performance boring and screechy.  He seemed like he was going through the motions.  Didn't care for this.

Allison sang "Hot Stuff".  I am liking Allison less and less each week, and I was never much of a fan to begin with.  Another strong vocal, but everything around it - the arrangement, the too-old face, the purple hair, the attitude all brought me down.

Adam sang "If I Can't Have You".  Okay, he's won me over.  I've been waiting for him to show his petulant, arrogant side but he's either just a nice guy, or he's expert at manipulating his persona.  I quite liked the slowed down version of this song.  And he didn't ruin it with screechy high-pitched power notes.  Best of the night.  Again.

Matt sang "Staying Alive".  I mostly liked this, although it did reek a bit of desperation.  And those awful high falsetto notes didn't win him any fans.  Don't know if he did enough to stay around.

Anoop sang "Dim All the Lights".  I wasn't familiar with this song, or at least this arrangement of the song, and didn't really care for it.  I thought Anoop sang it well, though, except for that wrong last note which he thankfully cut short.

I'm thinking Lil goes home for sure.  And it's a toss up between Matt and Anoop.  My suspicion is that Matt will stick around because of last week's close call, and Anoop will end up this week's loser of the Saving Matt tactic from last week.

Rob's American Idol Top 7 Part 2 Review

I missed last week's AI, and didn't review it.

You know what I'm really hating about AI this year?  The childish behaviour of the judges.  Especially Simon and Paula.  I don't really care that they play-fight, but it irks me to no end when that play-fighting gets in the way of the other judges comments, and thus causing the show to run long.

There.

The performers:

Lil sang I'm Every Woman.  Oh man, baby's got back-talk.  Yes, she has a huge bum and it was splendidly showcased in tight black spandex or whatever.  Her singing was awful.  The background singers' vocals drove the song, while Lil hooped and grunted and tried to get soulful.  She failed.  Worst performance of the night.  I hated how she interrupted the judges comments and demanded that her performance wasn't karaoke.  The issue, Lil, isn't that it was or wasn't karaoke.  The issue is you have no idea who you are.  You need to shut up and heed other advice.  Except, I expect you to be gone this week.

Kris sang "She Works Hard For the Money".  I liked his acoustic, it's-not-disco arrangement.  I thought his vocals were strong.  I just can't see Kris as anything other than a light-weight musical entertainer.  Second best performance of the night.

Danny sang "September".  I found this performance boring and screechy.  He seemed like he was going through the motions.  Didn't care for this.

Allison sang "Hot Stuff".  I am liking Allison less and less each week, and I was never much of a fan to begin with.  Another strong vocal, but everything around it - the arrangement, the too-old face, the purple hair, the attitude all brought me down.

Adam sang "If I Can't Have You".  Okay, he's won me over.  I've been waiting for him to show his petulant, arrogant side but he's either just a nice guy, or he's expert at manipulating his persona.  I quite liked the slowed down version of this song.  And he didn't ruin it with screechy high-pitched power notes.  Best of the night.  Again.

Matt sang "Staying Alive".  I mostly liked this, although it did reek a bit of desperation.  And those awful high falsetto notes didn't win him any fans.  Don't know if he did enough to stay around.

Anoop sang "Dim All the Lights".  I wasn't familiar with this song, or at least this arrangement of the song, and didn't really care for it.  I thought Anoop sang it well, though, except for that wrong last note which he thankfully cut short.

I'm thinking Lil goes home for sure.  And it's a toss up between Matt and Anoop.  My suspicion is that Matt will stick around because of last week's close call, and Anoop will end up this week's loser of the Saving Matt tactic from last week.

Turning Jokes Into Haiku

Tell a well-known joke, but keep to the haiku format:  5 syllable line / 7 syllable line / 5 syllable line.

Here's one from me:

Orange knocks on door
Keeps repeating "Banana"
Annoying, Orange.

Turning Jokes Into Haiku

Tell a well-known joke, but keep to the haiku format:  5 syllable line / 7 syllable line / 5 syllable line.

Here's one from me:

Orange knocks on door
Keeps repeating "Banana"
Annoying, Orange.

Your Voice Isn't As Good With Makeup On

Yeah, so I'm late to the Sarah Boyle thing.  You know, the ugly woman who can sing.

In case you're even more late than me, here's a picture of her.


It's true.  She's beyond ugly.
In all honesty, I haven't seen the video clip of her singing, and now it's my goal to never see it.  Just like E.T.

I'm patiently waiting as every single person's Facebook status eventually makes reference to this "magical voice despite being an ugly person" story.  Once that happens, then we can all move on.

From snippets of conversations and blurbs I can't help but read on the web, I've pieced together the whole clip anyway.  And it goes pretty much like this, I reckon:

A warty dragon shows up to terrorize a talent show in Everinghamshire, England.  At first the villagers don't understand the dragon, and fear its loathsome warts and fire-ugly breath.  But then, just like in all fairy tales, something magical happens:  the dragon shows its true heart, and the villagers, represented by the burghermeister, come to realize that they, in fact, were the loathsome warts and they possessed the fire-ugly breath all along.  They all become chummy good friends, and the dragon goes on to sign guest appearances for shows like Oprah, the good witch of the east, who coincidentally, without her makeup, makes the dragon look positively darling.  Everyone lives happily ever after: Oprah's ratings have gone up slightly, a month later a terrifying pirate who masturbates parrots becomes the village's next thing to be afraid of, and the original dragon goes back to being pointed at and feared by those people in her neighbourhood who don't have access to YouTube.

Is that about right?

Your Voice Isn't As Good With Makeup On

Yeah, so I'm late to the Sarah Boyle thing.  You know, the ugly woman who can sing.

In case you're even more late than me, here's a picture of her.


It's true.  She's beyond ugly.
In all honesty, I haven't seen the video clip of her singing, and now it's my goal to never see it.  Just like E.T.

I'm patiently waiting as every single person's Facebook status eventually makes reference to this "magical voice despite being an ugly person" story.  Once that happens, then we can all move on.

From snippets of conversations and blurbs I can't help but read on the web, I've pieced together the whole clip anyway.  And it goes pretty much like this, I reckon:

A warty dragon shows up to terrorize a talent show in Everinghamshire, England.  At first the villagers don't understand the dragon, and fear its loathsome warts and fire-ugly breath.  But then, just like in all fairy tales, something magical happens:  the dragon shows its true heart, and the villagers, represented by the burghermeister, come to realize that they, in fact, were the loathsome warts and they possessed the fire-ugly breath all along.  They all become chummy good friends, and the dragon goes on to sign guest appearances for shows like Oprah, the good witch of the east, who coincidentally, without her makeup, makes the dragon look positively darling.  Everyone lives happily ever after: Oprah's ratings have gone up slightly, a month later a terrifying pirate who masturbates parrots becomes the village's next thing to be afraid of, and the original dragon goes back to being pointed at and feared by those people in her neighbourhood who don't have access to YouTube.

Is that about right?

Boobies, Vaginas, Mmmm. Gorgeous. Very Gorgeous

So, here's a video a guy was compelled to put up on YouTube.  It's him professing his heterosexuality.  I am assuming that pretty much every word he says is a lie.  To himself, firstly, and then to us.

There are some amazing moments in this video.  From the knick-knack filled background, to the odd animal on the front of his rainbow-like sweater, to the bizarre logic and halted sentence-structure.
On top of all these moments, though, is deep, deep sadness.
I keep envisioning the awfulness of this guy's life: people picking on him, probably; fights with his family, no doubt; and lots of nights of crying by himself, I imagine.

That said, I admit I did laugh a few times.  The moment, about 7 or so minutes in, when he tries to convince us that's he's imagining ladies boobies and vaginas is awesomely fascinating.
Mostly, though, it's a sad guy living a sad lie of a life in a sad situation. 
What were the circumstances that compelled him to make this and post it?

Boobies, Vaginas, Mmmm. Gorgeous. Very Gorgeous

So, here's a video a guy was compelled to put up on YouTube.  It's him professing his heterosexuality.  I am assuming that pretty much every word he says is a lie.  To himself, firstly, and then to us.

There are some amazing moments in this video.  From the knick-knack filled background, to the odd animal on the front of his rainbow-like sweater, to the bizarre logic and halted sentence-structure.
On top of all these moments, though, is deep, deep sadness.
I keep envisioning the awfulness of this guy's life: people picking on him, probably; fights with his family, no doubt; and lots of nights of crying by himself, I imagine.

That said, I admit I did laugh a few times.  The moment, about 7 or so minutes in, when he tries to convince us that's he's imagining ladies boobies and vaginas is awesomely fascinating.
Mostly, though, it's a sad guy living a sad lie of a life in a sad situation. 
What were the circumstances that compelled him to make this and post it?

For Sale - Antique Pump Organ and stool

This pump organ has been in my mother's family for a couple generations.  She says it's over 100 years old.



It's a great looking pump organ.  It does play, not well.  Takes a lot of pumping in order to make sounds.  It would need some work on the bellows, I think, in order for it to be a properly functioning pump organ.



It also comes with stool.



We want to sell it.  If you're interested, you can drop by and see it, and make an offer.

for more details, contact me at sendit2me@gmail.com